Destiny’s Child’s The Writing’s On the Wall Turns 20: 12 Relationship Rules We Learned From The Album

It has been 20 years since Destiny’s Child launched their sophomore album, The Writing’s On the Wall.

When I first heard The Writing’s On the Wall, it immediately struck a chord with me. I was obsessed with the album and played it every day. As a woman who was in her early twenties at the time, I have had my share of less-than-favorable experiences with the opposite sex, and I was able to relate. The Writing’s On The Wall served as the ultimate guide to relationships, and Destiny’s Child taught us a thing or two about love.

With a focal point on relationship troubles, the album also had an underlying message of women empowerment and became the main soundtrack of young women everywhere. The Writing’s On The Wall is the last album recorded with the original group members Beyonce Knowles, Kelly Rowland, Letoya Luckett, and Latavia Roberson.

Icon Status

Released on July 27, 1999, The Writing’s On the Wall peaked at number 2 on the Billboard Top R&B/Hip-Hop Albums on August 14, 1999. The album made its debut at number six on the US Billboard 200 on the same date. It later peaked at number 5 on May 6, 2000, and spent 99 weeks on Billboard 200. The Writing’s On The Wall is Destiny’s Child’s highest-grossing album to date. It was certified eight times platinum by the RIAA on November 6, 2001, and sold over 8 million records worldwide. The album was a huge success and solidified their status as one of the most iconic groups of all time.

It Shall Be Written

The album starts with a skit that is reminiscent of the Godfather scene from the 1996 movie Set It Off. In their best Italian accents, Kelly, Latoya, Latavia, and the “Godfather Beyonce Corleone” discuss lying, cheating, and other problems that occur in relationships. The Godfather Beyonce set forth a list of commandments designed to set the foundation for healthy relationships and to encourage women to know their worth.

Relationship Commandments

Although the album came out in 1999, The Writing’s On the Wall still resonates with women decades later. To celebrate the 20th anniversary, here are some “relationship commandments” that we learned from the album.

Relationship Commandment # 1: Thou Shall Not Hate (“So Good”)

Jealousy is not a good look on anyone. “So Good” is a song about the young women addressing their haters to let them know they are doing well despite telling them they would never make it. Also, the ladies are letting their naysayers know not to smile in their faces now that they are successful.

Even though this commandment was not necessarily intended to address the men in their lives, this song can still apply to relationships. You will be surprised how much your own mate can hate on you. From putting you down to not being in your corner, men can also be shady and project their insecurities onto the woman they are supposed to love.

Lesson Learned: When someone is trying to elevate themselves,  try to be supportive.

Relationship Commandment #2 Thou Shalt Pay Bills (“Bills, Bills, Bills”)

 

At some point in our lives, many of us have dealt with men who have no issue with taking but never seem to return the favor. “Bills, Bills, Bills” is about a trifling, good-for-nothing dude who does not contribute to anything. He takes advantage of her by driving her car around all day without filling up the tank and maxes out her credit cards. On top of that, he has the nerve to ask her for money.

Lesson Learned: Times have changed, and we are no longer the women of yesteryear who relied on men for financial security. We are becoming more career-driven and securing our own bag. But that does not mean we should foot all of the bills, outings, etc.. He also needs to pull his weight financially.

Relationship Commandment #3 Thou Shall Confess (“Confessions”)

Men are not the only ones prone to indiscretions. As women, we also do things that we are not proud of. From something as small as lying about our whereabouts to hooking up with a handsome stranger, we don’t think about how these actions will affect our relationships until after the fact. Soon we become riddled with guilt and may want to get things off our chest, as we should. “Confessions” is a song about a woman coming clean to her boyfriend about cheating on him and spending his money, even though she risks losing him.

Lesson Learned: Secrets and lies can destroy the core of a healthy relationship. Confessing is good for the soul, regardless of what the outcome will be.

Relationship Commandment # 4 Thou Shall Not Bug (“Bug a Boo”)

 

Some of us have dated him. You know, the guy that calls excessively and wants to know where you are, what you are doing, and who you are doing it with. He just so happens to “pop up” at the places where you are hanging out with your friends and will even show up to your house unannounced, just to make sure you are there. “Bug a Boo” is about a woman who is being hounded by a guy that she is in a new relationship with. He blows up her pager, constantly calls her, and tracks her down. She is so stressed that she wants to cut her phone off, stop her emails, and move so that she can get rid of this bozo for good.

Lesson Learned: In the post-era of pagers, pretty much everyone has a cell phone. We also now have social media, which makes you even more accessible. If a man is calling you non-stop, comments under your Facebook post that he just tried to call you, is always in your DMs, and texts you back to back about not responding to him and demanding to know your whereabouts, you may need to block him, Sis.

Relationship Commandment # 5 Thou shall not give in to temptation. (“Temptation”)

I know some of us have been there. You could be at the mall, lounge, or even on your way to work, and you see a man so fine that you can’t help but stare.  Not only that, but he is checking you out too. He walks over and engages in conversation. You are enjoying his company, and it does not take long for him to ask for your number. Just as you are about to give him the digits, you forgot one important detail… you have a man! So you solemnly tell him that you can’t because you are in a relationship. “Temptation” is a song about a young woman who meets a guy while hanging out with her friends. She is so attracted to him that she is tempted to cheat on her boyfriend.

Lesson Learned: Every now and then, you will meet someone so handsome that your loyalty to your significant other will be tested. If you have a good, loyal man, don’t cheat on him.

Relationship Commandment #6 Thou shall not think you got it like that. (“Now That She’s Gone”)

We’ve all have experienced the ex trying to come back into our lives after thinking the grass was greener on the other side .“Now That She’s Gone” is about a young woman whose ex-boyfriend comes crawling back after breaking her heart. The girl he left her for is now gone, and he wants a second chance. She is amazed that he thinks he “got it like that” and wants to know why he would think she wants him back after the pain he has caused. She lets him know that it is too late and there is no chance of them reconciling.

Lesson Learned: Don’t give your former boyfriend a chance to hurt you again and leave his behind in the ex-files where he belongs. Never allow a man to come in and out of your life as he pleases. You are nobody’s backup plan or consolation prize.

Relationship Commandment #7: Thou shall not leave me wondering. (“Where’d You Go”)

In the age of “ ghosting,” it is sometimes not uncommon to meet someone, hit it off, and enjoy each other’s company only to never hear from that person again. “Where’d You Go” is about a woman wondering where her man is. She has not heard from him in five days and is worried that he doesn’t love her anymore.

Lesson Learned: Unless he was hospitalized or kidnapped, there is no excuse for a man to go five days without some form of communication with his woman. If he does, he is not as invested in the relationship as you are, and you need to reassess his role in your life or if he even belongs in it at all.

Relationship Commandment #8: Thou shall know when he’s got to go. (“Hey Ladies”)

As women, sometimes we will try to make things right in a relationship with a man who continually does us wrong. “Hey, Ladies” is about a young woman who stays even though he is always hurting her. She is struggling to be strong enough to kick him to the curb because she knows in her heart that he is no good for her.

Lesson Learned: I know it is not easy to leave someone who you love and have invested in so much. Actions speak louder than words, and if your man has a habit of mistreating you and disrespecting the relationship, he is showing you how he truly feels. Return the favor by rewarding his behavior with your absence.

Relationship Commandment #9: Thou shall move on to the next. (“If You Leave”)

They say nothing makes you forget your ex like the next. “If You Leave” is about a young man and young woman discussing their plans to leave their wrongdoing significant others. They plan to take a trip, just the two of them, and possibly start the beginning of a new life together.

Lesson Learned: If your mate is doing you wrong, move on to someone who will appreciate you.

Relationship Commandment #10: Thou shall get your party on. ( “Jumpin, Jumpin”)

 

The weekend is here, and you want to spend some time with your man. You call him only to find out that, once again, he plans on hanging out with his friends. So now you find yourself alone, bored, and stuck in the house again. “Jumpin, Jumpin” is about a young woman chastising her friend for staying in all weekend alone while her man was out with the homies. She urges her friend to come out with her to the club to blow off some steam and enjoy the company of some “ballers”. She only has one rule … leave your man at home!

Lesson Learned: Don’t confine yourself to the house while your man is clearly out enjoying life. Do yourself a favor; put on a sexy outfit and head out with your girls to the club. It’s okay to hang out with your friends once in a while and let your hair down. Trust me; you need to!

Relationship Commandment #11: Thou shall say my name. (“Say My Name”)

 

Has your intuition ever told you that something was not quite right with your relationship? You don’t have solid proof, but you know that your man is up to no good. “Say My Name” is a song about a young woman who’s on the phone with her boyfriend, but the conversation is off. He won’t say her name; she could have sworn that she heard another voice in the background, and she accuses him of being in the company of another woman. Of course, he denies it, so she challenges him to call her baby if no one else is around.

Lesson Learned: Trust your instincts. If all of a sudden, you are not being acknowledged, there is usually a reason.

Relationship Commandment #12 If thou can wait, thou shall stay. (“Stay”)

Whether it is because of the 90-Day Rule, for religious or spiritual reasons, or just wanting to get to know a person better, some women are choosing not to rush into sex. “Stay” is about a young woman who wants to wait a year before having sex with her boyfriend. Because she is offering no more than “hugs and kisses” to her boyfriend, she wonders if he’s only interested in waiting around until she is ready to have sex because he barely spends any time with her.

Lesson Learned: It is essential to have a discussion with your mate about where you stand on sex as early as possible in the relationship. Don’t let a man pressure you into sex if you are not ready. If he genuinely wants to be with you, he’ll not only wait, but he will also cherish being in your presence.

Final Thoughts

If you are unsure about your significant other,  or if you want something to jam to, do yourself a favor and listen to “The Writing’s On The Wall.”  It will give you the encouragement you need to make the best decision about your relationship and, most importantly, what is best for you.

To listen to The Writing’s on The Wall, you can stream the album on the following platforms:

Amazon

Apple Music

Deezer

iHeart

Pandora

Spotify

Tidal

YouTube Music

Until next time!

Thank you for reading!

Yours truly,

Tracy

 

 

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